10 Things I Might Elaborate On Later (Remind Me, Because It’s Been a Long Day and I’m Not What You’d Call a Wordsmith Right Now)

1. How old is a cougar? Are you a cougar if you’re happily married but still like to admire, say, hot young baseball players or members of bands? (Talking to you, Dwight Yoakam’s keyboardist…)

2. The fact that I’m really having a hard time deciding where to draw the line on all this responsible eating and conscious living stuff I’m messing around with right now. I mean, how far does one take things? I absolutely draw said line at reusable feminine hygiene products, for example. (Really–they’re out there! Gross). And it is an absolute bitch to find more than, like, 5 pairs of cute sandals on the entire internet that aren’t leather.

3. Along those lines, the things about being a woman that I am not very good at and am not going to pretend to like (shopping not being one of those things).

4. How much I love the movie Idiocracy, starring Luke Wilson as Not Sure, and some further observations Brad and I have made regarding the changing nature of humanity (the Buy More Cereal Phenomenon).

5. My dogs. (HAHA! Just kidding. I know everybody has their own pets to ooh and ahh over. I’ll keep most of my cute pet stuff on Facebook, where it belongs. I will, however, post my food mainly on here, because for some reason people get all pissed off when you do that on Facebook.)

6. Regrets. I’ve had a few.

7. People who make me well up with tears of joy and awe.

8. What does being true to oneself really entail? Does it mean I have to stop wearing mascara? Because if it does, I’m not doing it.

9. The pros and cons of the follow-your-bliss movement, and how I sure hope there are some people out there whose bliss is cleaning public bathrooms.

10. The fact that over the past several days (actually, more like weeks, months, forever…), in spite of having some fun, I have felt like an absolute misfit almost everywhere I have been, and why the hell this might be.

In the event you get really anxious to hear about any of these topics (and I know you will), don’t hesitate to crack the whip a little. Or hey, just start talking about them yourself. I’m tired and could use your help.

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7 thoughts on “10 Things I Might Elaborate On Later (Remind Me, Because It’s Been a Long Day and I’m Not What You’d Call a Wordsmith Right Now)

  1. Funny you should mention that. “Fuck ’em” is a tentative title for one of my future posts–or maybe all of them…

  2. I love the food pictures. But more importantly, speaking as someone who spent too many years worrying what people thought of me, trying to fit in and feeling awkward around other people, let me just say that you’re about as far from a misfit from anybody I know, because people not only like to read what you write, they very seriously look forward to being around you. Speaking from experience. Why, it says right there on the list of 25 things Sherrie and I want to do this year, at No. 18, “go for a weekend with Brad and Amber.” We’re not entirely convinced last weekend counts. So if you’re up for it, keep your options open!

    • Thanks! Here’s to the (self-proclaimed) non-fitter-inners! And no, I don’t believe last weekend counts.

  3. I don’t know how old a cougar is, and I’m not sure I qualify as one, but I sure do like to look at a fit young guy and imagine…and I never used to when I was younger, so I don’t know what that’s all about. I am strictly a look, don’t touch kind of lady too.

    Ah yes, being true to yourself. I think I am. sort of. But, hey, don’t we all compromise, just a bit, under certain circumstances. Hell I don’t even know what my “true self” is. I’ve had the longest identity crisis known to man.

    I often feel like a misfit. I am a misfit. Usually I don’t care anymore. I’m getting kind of used to it. But it still hurts sometimes. Like yesterday when I spoke in my class and some rude bitch of a girl did this horrendously loud hippo-like yawn. I was upset for hours, and now I dont want to open my mouth in that class again, yet I’m thinking, “Why am I letting some spotty, pig-ignorant little no-nothing teenager upset me like that with her rudeness”. But she has.

    Keep on keeping on, Amber, your blogs are great!

    • Genevieve, you make me laugh! “…the longest identity crisis known to man.” And it’s true, isn’t it? It’s usually some ignoramus who makes us feel awkward or uncomfortable, and then it’s maddening to think that somebody like that has affected you that way.

  4. Hey, tell the girl off when you see her today or next time she does it. (Guessing you’re a teacher? Or student in the class? Either way, she’s got it coming.) Chances are more people in the class were put off by what she did than by what you said. You’d be a hero to some.

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