Just a few baby steps I’ve taken in the process of learning to live a self-directed life.
1. Using my dogs as the header image. I assume this is a not-so-pro move, sort of akin to typing a college essay in Comic Sans or still trying to sell whimsical mustache-themed items on Etsy. (Dammit, give those a rest finally, will ya?) But I don’t care. This blog is to encourage me to do what I want. I like my dogs. I think the image of them moping on the couch in a perfectly croppable horizontal arrangement is funny in juxtaposition to my optimistic blog title. You go ahead and Start Today, mommy. (Yawn.) Good luck with that.
2. Letting my hair go gray naturally. I’ve been working on this for a little while–maybe not a year yet. I just got to this point where it made me mad that almost every woman out there thinks she has to dye her hair until at least age 60 to be socially acceptable. It’s bullshit. Men don’t do that. So I decided to grow it out long and let the color go where it may, hoping to someday look like a groovy old free spirit. (NOTE TO SELF: You probably should lose some weight, because slimmer women with long, gray hair look like like chic earth mothers, but fatter ladies with the same tresses can appear more like they have 40 cats at home.) Anyway, mine’s still mostly my natural dark-blonde to brown, but the silver is weaving its way in pretty noticeably. It hasn’t been easy to take at times. I’ve broken down and used the semi-permanent, gradual-wash-out kind of hair color just so the top and bottom halves of my strands don’t clash so much. Maybe in another year or so I’ll be completely back to nature, tonsorially speaking.
3. Not gardening. That’s right, folks. I, who have been preaching and hand-wringing about the commercial food industry and delving into vegetarianism and all that jazz, do not have even the beginnings of a garden in, and this is late May in sunny California, for crying out loud! Listen. Sometimes you get busy and there’s a lot to think about and take care of, and you just don’t get everything done that you’d planned on doing. I finally just said screw it, I’m not doing it. This year I will be frequenting nearby farmer’s markets, begging tomatoes from whoever has them, and probably getting stealth bags of zucchini dumped on my front porch by my dad. Also, I understand nasturtiums are edible, so at least we’ve got the ones we just planted in the front yard to fall back on should the apocalypse hit.
4. Just buying the damn tickets already! I used to deliberate over whether or not to buy tickets to concerts and other events, worrying about whether Brad might have softball or bowling or something else going on that night, or whether I should be blowing the cash at all. Lately, though, I’ve just been charging first and asking questions later. Ok, well, maybe I mention what I’m up first to just to give him the chance to let me know of any conflicts, but I don’t waste much time anymore. We’ve both agreed that seeing live music is one of our favorite shared experiences. Even when we saw The Black Crowes several years ago and they seemingly completely forgot they weren’t just doing a 2-hour instrument tuning session, we didn’t regret buying those tickets one bit. (Wait–come to think of it, I think Brad won those on the radio. Well, you get the idea.)
5. Expressing myself openly via excessive Facebook use, this blog, occasional beer-enhanced conversations, etc. This is not something I’m used to doing. I think a lot of people probably think “Brad’s wife” is not very smart because she doesn’t say much, but that’s because usually I’m pretty comfortable observing my surroundings and keeping my thoughts to myself. It’s a survival mechanism when you live in a small town not known for deep thinkers. (If you’re a friend or family member reading this, relax. I’m not talking about you. Just everybody else. Ok, well, maybe you. Who is this?) Because if I honestly express myself out loud, those people won’t think I’m stupid anymore, but chances are good they will think I’m a stuck-up bitch who thinks she’s better than everybody else, usin’ them big werds ‘n’ whatnot. That’s why I don’t say much in public. But listen, Bubba. I ain’t stupid.
Those are a few things I’ve been up to. Not sure what to try next, but I’ll let you know how it works out when it happens.