How Pinteresting

Pinterest

Pinterest (Photo credit: KEXINO)

I’m an image junkie and a compulsive scanner. Since I joined Pinterest I’ve been saving a ton of money on magazines. This feast-for-the-eyes site satisfies my desire to look at pretty pictures of neat stuff. It’s also a good distraction when I’m short on funds and can’t afford to risk actually going out and browsing in the flesh, where I might break down and make purchases. It’s like window shopping from the comfort of your own disaster of a home office, without the fun of dressing nicely or ducking into a charming little bistro for lunch.

When it comes to actually pinning things to my own personal collection of boards, though, I try to be at least semi-practical; otherwise I’d just go on forever. I stick to home and garden stuff I might actually implement, recipes and crafts I really want to try, clothing looks I might (or wish I could) wear, or cute dog pictures to put a little feeling in an otherwise monotonous day of medical transcription. Sometimes I’ll start a board with the intention of entertaining other people, like my “Things Sue Heck Would Love,” in homage to a character on one of my current favorite TV shows, ABC’s The Middle. (No, really, it has some followers!)

Other pinners are much more promiscuous than I, pinning random things willy-nilly. They’ll start a board called “Red” and pin any and every red item they come across onto it. Why you’d need to pin a picture of just a tomato is beyond me, unless maybe you’re an interior designer looking for a tomatoey shade of red, in which case, can’t you just use one of those color wheel thingies? Now, if the tomato is sliced up and layered with other yummy stuff into a mouthwatering new twist on a Caprese salad, well,  that is something other people might like to know about. I would. I’d probably pin it to my “How Can This Not Be Delicious?” board with full intentions of trying it, although I can’t promise I’d ever get around to actually doing so.

As much pleasure and visual satisfaction as Pinterest gives me, it also occasionally annoys the crap out of me. Below are a few things I’m sick to death of, am trying to weed out of my “Follow” list, and/or just don’t get the appeal of, period.

Spiders. For God’s sake, I don’t want to see pictures of spiders! What the hell is wrong with you people who are posting spiders? You probably have other pinboards entitled “Rotten Leftovers” and/or “Snot.” I can’t even think of anything funny to say. Spiders, at least in my mind, are no laughing matter. I don’t even like fake Halloween spiders made out of black balloons and crepe paper. Unfollow.

Women as prey. Yes, I realize that ultra-skinny, in the spectrum of body types, is every bit as legitimate and real as my own body type, which is decidedly not ultra-skinny, and not even approaching skinny. I don’t care. I also realize that young, in the spectrum of life stages, is as real and valid as…uh…less young, which is what I happen to be. That’s not my complaint. My complaint is that too many fashion/style/outfit pins feature wispy, barely-voting-age women limping along in cripplingly high heels like lost, injured fawns, their hair messed up and their knock-kneed legs barely bigger around than my upper arms. This particular aesthetic pisses me off. It’s creepy. I don’t think weak, sickly, and ripe for predators equals chic. I actually started a board devoted to pointing this out, but I’d be delighted if I couldn’t find enough examples to maintain it.

Pumpkin everything.  Pumpkin cheesecake. Pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pancakes. Pumpkin tamales. Pumpkin ice cream. Pumpkin smoothies (which sounds particularly gagworthy). Pumpkin facials. Pumpkin mac and cheese. I don’t hate pumpkin (don’t love it either), but that is just way, way, way too much pumpkin. Get off the pumpkin already. That is all.

Fitness psych-ups for the already awesomely fit. I love the saying “No matter how slow you go, you’re still lapping everybody on the couch.” Damn right! This is what I tell myself when I’m out dragging my middle-aged bod down the road in my frumpy T-shirt and yoga pants and my dorky discount sneaks, breaking into a jog occasionally, only to be astonished at how much I can feel each jarring step wobbling my butt cheeks. But come on, you guys! When you superimpose that go-get-’em slogan on some glistening, taut and tan, sixpack-sporting female body, it takes a lot of the encouragement out of it, considering the majority of us would never look like that no matter how many couch potatoes we put to shame. So give me some healthy affirmations accompanied by photos of people who NEED affirmations–people who don’t already don midriff-baring tops and glorified underpants and head out to kick fitness ass every day.

In general, I get a kick out of Pinterest and realize that everybody’s got their likes and dislikes. The above are a few of mine. My favorite things on Pinterest? Well, these consistently hilarious and true little things are right up there for me:

How about you? What are you Pinterested in? Or not?

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